Making change Vs. Excuses

The world we live in is not always fair to us and neither does it always give every one of us an equal playing ground. It is true that we face many challenges, adversities or what whatever you choose to call it. We often fall short of controlling ourselves not to mention the immediate environment which we find ourselves or the society, and we fail to realize that the world promises us nothing and only we are responsible for ourselves.          We are so quick to credit ourselves with the little accomplishments we achieve in our individual lives yet slow to take responsibility of our failures.  So often we see the world affecting our decisions, taking us down that we fail to embrace the truth that we are what we make of ourselves and only we can create and shape that which we want of ourselves. I am a firm believer that there is always  the right way and that it is the actions and inactions of  our daily lives that shape us  and yield results, be them positive or negative. The way we see the obstacles of life and handle them impacts us a great deal more than we often can see.

     We feel not an iota of shame to state the reasons why the ex -college class mate achieves so much greatness over us but fail to ask ourselves why we seem to know the ingredients to success yet fail woefully at our very own endeavors, so often do we give excuses for while we fail at our college exam, office duties that we close our eyes to the fact that the person right behind us excelled in the same circumstances. These days we spend little or no time in trying to better ourselves and burry ourselves in troubles such as finding excuses and blaming our failures on the people and environment around us. We hold onto the past so much that we forget moving on is always a readily available option for us in life. why would a sixty year old adult blame his entire life failures on their parents  when they should have taken charge of their lives  a long time ago directing which way the tides of life pushed them?  Why does the young man who spends the better part of his week at bars and clubs feels it right to blame his long gone father who was a drunk for  his present sorrow cleansing addiction , for how many generations must the chain continue and to whom shall the responsibility of breaking it lie under?

    The married lady justifies her long absence from her children for the love of her career saying it helps her keep her sanity, the young man blames his newly found love (alcohol) on his nagging wife, the young man who does not know how to earn a day’s wages feel it right to blame the government for his lack of a decent meal. Until we realize that we are better off making changes than excuses we will always find ourselves fixing blame on the nearest person after the opportunities are long gone. Until we learn to take responsibilities of our mistakes we shall not grow and try to fix them, not until we learn to fix things when we notice them wrong, we will never be agents of positive change but irrelevant people who will always be forgotten or ever remembered for our lack of efforts.

When a college degree is the only means of survival

There is no doubt stressing the need for an education of any sort yet when formal  education becomes the only means for survival and there is no other path to a stable life then perhaps the system already in place needs to a double check and the much needed changed be applied. Nigeria just like other countries needs the brain power of its citizens to operate at its best if the country is to move forward and in most cases the means to such a state is via a formal and well-structured educational system but for education to be the only means for survival and source of livelihood brings to question if the need for a strictly formal education is sometimes over stressed and  if there should indeed be an alternate way to say various less formal training  and wholesome development. In Nigeria just like most of the third world countries and growing economies the need for a college degree is overemphasized even as the numbers of graduates continue to grow over the already limited and insufficient chances of employment.  Arguments like whether only a certain level of education (college degree) breeds innovation could very much be considered a fail as a look at the greatest innovators of this centuries and even the ones before does not necessarily reflect those with the highest number and levels of diplomas in their generations, take the case of one of the greatest scientists to ever grace the earth Albert Einstein who resented the strict learning methods of one of his schools  and went on to fail an entrance examination into a then secondary school in Switzerland and had to move abroad for one, though he later went on to be awarded a PhD. By a University and soon became a professor the fact that he too once rebelled the system brings to question its methods.

    In our times the list of billionaire drop outs is endless from Sir. Richard Branson of the brand virgin which includes Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Records  and other companies over three hundred in number to kirk Kerkorian who dropped out of school in the 8^th grade and is currently worth over 18 billion USD and boasts of stakes in ventures like New York New York, MGM Grand, the Mirage, Circus Circus and more, the list goes on to include the more known ones like Bill Gates of Microsoft, the late Steve jobs of Apple, Michael Dell of Dell computers, Ralf Lauren  of polo Ralf Lauren, Larry Ellison of Oracle corporation and every one in between. Also the  believe that a  college degree is a sure way to a higher paid job (better life) has dealt a serious blow on the psychic of many students  years after graduation, this makes one  wonder and brings to mind many questions. For example if we were to see Education as an investment, (which in this in this troubling world economies everyone should) would we say it has always been profitable? Giving the seemingly rising costs of a good education all around the world and a continues hike in college tuition fee which do not after all guarantee any jobs or a better means of livelihood upon graduation.

   Countries like China and others in Asia are much applauded for their strict and rather rigid educational systems which see their students excelling in science and mathematics competition across the globe and even beating their European counterparts in such competitions and the  overall result felt in their now booming economies yet we must ask ourselves at what price, and how far is too much a pressure for kids and young adults who are made to see  no other road to success but through the letter “A” grade  and strict learning environments which has according to experts has resulted to the skyrocketing of suicides among those who feel they don’t measure up or don’t stand a chance with the other academic geeks. One in every five high school students in such countries are said to have contemplated suicides at one point or another as a result of a society obsessed with, with grades, academic excellence and its strict policies. All through time academic experts have tried to stress the balance between an academic and social life (a wholesome curriculum) yet parents and school boards continue to overlook such importance and society refuses to let go its obsession with grades and academic qualifications alike.   

     Recently an America  investor Peter Thiel made a move most people would consider controversial but I see as a good change for a start when he offered a 100,000 USD each to 24 talented undergraduate students to drop out of school and pursue their entrepreneur ideas/dreams his argument been that colleges and universities hold people back in achieving what they want and are ready to do and that they do a poor job at promoting innovation. If such a  case could be made of American institutions and yet hold ground when America is considered to hold the highest number of best institutions of higher learning followed by Britain then I don’t know what could be said of Nigerian institutions of higher learning that are marred by striking unions poor infrastructure then  certainly those in Nigeria, Africa and the rest of the developing world can be said to kill dreams since students spend a better part of their lives going through the educational system and another significant part seeking jobs that are nowhere to be found. Until conscious efforts are made by governments and societies to curb the current epidemic of over reliance on a strictly academic education even when some people are clearly better off without it we will continue to lose the benefits that would otherwise be gained by people who could excel more if there were provided with the environment for an informal education and if society choose to see them as equals and not secondary because of some paper qualification gained.     

OVERSTATING THE INMPORTANCE OF THAT WHICH WE DO NOT HAVE

We leave in a universe where our opinions are shaped by different and distant factors such as the media and popularity complex and the irony is though you may be in denial at first but a deep  look down within reveals how u are the least factor in making your decisions, just about more than half the times. It’s a shame that we live in times where we are measured by the material things we are able to gather, even more shocking is the fact that in most cases questioning the means to such wealth does not even come to mind as we turn to see people not through the inner self but through that which they surround themselves with physically.

People spend so much time looking or searching for that which is beyond their reach and often a time miss out on that which was right beside them all along. This includes our personal targets, aims and goals in live as we spend most of our lives dreaming about that life changing moments instead of reaching and creating one for ourselves with the instruments right in our palms, same could be said of a lady who dreams about an exotic prince sweeping her off her fit without stopping for a moment to consider if the right prince is by her side. Ever present within us is the consciousness that its better at the other side  of the fence and yes sometimes it really is  but most times the harsh reality is if giving the chance to taste the soil on the other side we would then appreciate what we have and live the rest of our lives in gratitude. Too many times in life do I see people praying, dreaming and fighting for their dreams yet when that dream finally shows up on their door step and we so quickly begin the ride only to realize sooner than later that there is nothing like a perfect road leading to a place of dreams at least not here perhaps in an alternate universe yes. When these happens I see people who were once thought fighters give up before the race even begins all because in life we fail to realize that all responsibilities and positions come’s with them their territories which we must all embrace without  so much of a choice. Take the life of a young man who all his life dreams about becoming a famous actor, (it guy) for the ladies but then forgets that with such territory comes a life of constant scrutiny and that there is nothing such as personal space, yes the paparazzi’s would do anything for a scandalous photo even if it means getting a helicopter to roam your ten hectare mansion, we must realize that sometimes the realities of life can be harsh and  most often than we may want  there is nothing we can do about it. For those who choose to live the their lives in the media they must accept the fact that it’s a love hate relationship that you can have at best nothing more, take the life of super star Beyoncé for instance whose pregnancy announcement on the 2011 MTV video music awards broke twitter  records with 8,860 tweets per  second it’s no surprise that the awards was soon known to become MTV most watched awards bringing a total of  12.4 million viewers, Google also announced it reached “breakout levels” concerning Beyoncé’s pregnancy announcement as she soon became the most searched item on its site, while I guess Beyoncé was feeling the love then but  suddenly during an interview  that aired on TV  which people claimed her baby bump folded inwards she was soon in the headlines again for claim that she faked the pregnancy  though her rep soon shutdown the rumors such is the love hate relationship that people in the media  or those whom the society see as role models shall face.

We must come to realize that material belongings of any sort do not define us as persons and that only we alone and our behaviors’ define who we are and spending time trying to create a certain public image so that we are perceived a certain way is sure a waste of time and so is spending our limited resources buying the things we know we do not need/want or living a certain lifestyle out of our means. All this is vain as our true priorities are those that we have  within us that sometimes make so much meaning to us and non to others, life to many would be much better if we all stop trying so hard to live beyond our means at the same time realizing and appreciating what we have instead of looking away for that which is alien to us.  

THE REVOLUTION HERE AND THERE

The world today is a revolution and suddenly everything seems possible, it all started with a rather controversial incident when one Mohamed Bouazizi a Tunisian fruit vendor decided to immolate himself and through the media we saw a quick rise that led to not only a revolution in Tunisia but through the entire strong Arab world which prior to these events would have thought to be impossible, yet these events have given rise to similar uprisings all around the globe.

It is no doubt that these events have seen a sharp divide in weather or not they are the best or even right way to go about societal problems. While I very much applaud the courageous fight of those who constantly struggle for social justice and whatever cause that they truly believe in we must stop to ask ourselves if in these century and times there is no better way to go about seeking for our rights, social equivalence, good and accountable governance .I can see people arguing the case of the Arab spring and events in that part of the world which I myself support to some extent but l can only go as far as appreciating the efforts for positive change but stop to ask myself if there is no better way to bring about change but start a revolution which sees many a nation lose more  resources in the very economy which such protests and riots fight to safe and even more sad the numerous lives  of its meaningful citizens. It should not be mistaken at any point that I am for tyranny or any form of governance that sees one man in rule over an entire nation for all his life as though he is the only one sane enough for such a job, and while I have so much admiration for a type of governance that comes from the people (democracy) I fail to see while suddenly riots, revolutions and protests have so quickly become a fade so admired and justified by many even when the reasons for such actions can barely be defined by those holding the very “stop the menace placards” and even so clearly cannot so clearly state the remedies to the issues they feel so strong enough to protest about, at this point I fore does not see a rationale behind someone who sees so clearly  the wrong in something but at the same time falls short of recommending a remedy or how to go about one.

This brings us to question if all the riots we see in the streets today should really be taken serious and if the people in question are asking for better governance which is clearly lacking in all or most facets of society or if the rioters in question are people who fail or do not try at all in making a life for themselves or fall short of been creative or innovative enough to create some meaning into their lives and make an over reliance on their own governments constantly seeing the cracks in the system and waiting to be spoon fed everything without making the slightest of efforts. What am saying here is not that governments and their various ministries not be held responsible but that people take more responsibilities of their lives and put more time into creating a life for themselves rather than take to the streets at the earliest or slightest of provocations and that other means be looked into as such protests that seem to start on a peaceful note can easily turn violent because of the mob mentality that is never lacking in such a gathering.

Again when I see where some of these protests come from like the wall the ongoing wall street protests and as they continue to gain momentum in other American cities and the rest of Europe and North America even when these people have far better means of life and even more responsible governments than say the rest of the world and more  specifically Africa where people still go about their daily businesses in the mist of far more worse conditions like living with less than three square meals with huge smiles over their faces like the world in which they live in is a paradise, the London riots  which saw heavy looting and destruction of personal and governments properties is what I find even more ridiculous and what I have come to see and have made of some of such riots is that people in this generation are becoming more lazy even when times  continue to prove there is no room for such and governments seem to be hitting their limits  and Legislation continues to be an issue where most law makers in these countries cannot find common ground. Isn’t this the time when people should more than ever focus on what they can produce rather than receive? Yet governments too must realize that with the technology and social media it is now easier than any other time in recent history for its citizens to organize and create a one voiced opinion no matter how narrow such may be and rise to its responsibilities which it continues to fall short of. 

Are celebrities worth the charm ?

As human beings we naturally feel the urge or want to have someone we could look up to, the question how ever is are the people whom we look up to so well and interestingly feel a sense of connection and perhaps relationship worth it? Are their actions or in-actions really worth looking up to? Is it however possible that we can separate a person's craft or talent as the case may be from the person in question? How can we like and appreciate a person's work without feeling the need to see the person as a godlike or role model figure in today's society? Is everyone out there today performing or participating the so called art worth  the nowadays easily abused word "role model", "celebrity”? Why celebrate a group of people who cannot honestly say what or why they do whatever it is they do. The questions could go on and on but i think the point is well made.

 It is fast becoming like a cult among the diehard fans of the various celebrities who parade our entertainment outlets 24/7 and are all over the social media. With all the epidemics that befall our today's world is rather terrible that  it won’t take a genius to realize that  eighty percent of all trending topics at any time of the day are either about celebrity or another, a related story which could be as petty as the designer dress they wore to a red carpet event, this makes one wonder if the  whole world has rather nothing better to do  than throw light on the already over exposed celebrities of our time while their remain a thousand and one issues that need our attention, our voice and our ultimate exposure, for instance the ongoing CNN freedom project together with the United Nations claims that the human trafficking business is an industry is such a lucrative enterprise with an estimated $8 to $10 billion dollars in in revenue, for  such an industry with huge revenue it is nearly impossible for everyone to claim they don't know about such a menace when reality is  that these crimes often take place right under our noses but we are too busy  to notice, this is just one in many a  list of issues that need to be seen and heard and such is an issue that with the right amount of awareness could easily see a drastic down turn, and armed with the social media today i can rightly say it is a fight that you and i need not wait for any security or special task force to start  yet we choose to overlook these issues concerning everyday people which we are and as such should matter to us most  dedicate our rather  limited time to worshiping people who honestly care less about what we do and more about the $ they continue to bank.

This is not to say I myself  do not have a favorite singer, dancer, or writer but it the case here is that  they are taken too seriously and have proven to have so much more impact on us for whatever reason that still alludes me.

 A quick glance at  any Forbes most powerful/influential list will quick show you how far our obsession with this mostly half baked celebrities have gone.  I am not for one arguing that art or whatever is passed on as it should not be appreciated or the person bearing it, but when actors, dancers, and reality stars aka those who do nothing but go about from one social event to another become more influential, important and are accorded more respect than religious leaders, scientist, activists, authors, journalist  in a society then something is terribly wrong with such a society that needs fixing yet is those earlier mentioned that capture our hearts so  much that we dedicate our entire lives to promoting them we are so quick to use these so called role models as a measure of  beauty and all that is perfect even when  the credit of half their bodies goes to surgeons in down town LA, and their picture perfect pose  polished and airbrushed by some computer geek in a Kodak photo lab somewhere around town. These days seldom do role models come from within the family or  great leaders, it all goes to the ladies who are quick to stroke their pelvis in re-thyme to some overplayed lyrics on radio who becomes the person looked up to by a young girl whose dream is to become a doctor, and so is  the young man whose dream is to become an academician but has a forty year old rapper whose signature look is sagging pants, perhaps the young ones are not to be blamed but the media which makes it even harder for these young people to be exposed to any other thing other than the that which has the glitz and glamour or its the young man who chooses gossips blogs as his go to source of information and feels the best way to kill time commuting to work  is to  bury his head in the iPod or spend this last two cents on chewing gum than  picking the that national daily on the news stand that is to blame but truth be told we need to stop dedicating our time to these people and issues  and focus on the those that matter most to us.

How much do we value our Relationships?

Various and diverse levels and types of relationships are what form our very own society and  this covers friends, families, colleagues, teachers,sexual relationships,those living together,partnerships and marriages, Yet in today's  fast paced society they are the easiest to crumble and  with the various world economies falling the struggle for a better tomorrow for many becomes a desperate move to grasp whatever, at any cost. These relationships which define  our very own being become second fiddle as many people consciously or unconsciously turn to marry whatever it is that puts the meal on the table even at the cost of that which they once thought they believed in and could die for.

 One needs not search too far away to see how this has eaten deep into today's society, morals are no longer a standard but the other of the day simply is "to each his own" every one today defines their own right and  wrong and how dare you oppose a lifestyle that does not hinder you from living yours, the phrase 'its 2011" and not whatever year passed has lived out its meaning and those who speak up against the decay are simply thought to be backward or even still uncivilized. it  becomes so easy a thing to say once the alternative lifestyle does not hinder yours you should not be complaining yet we fail to understand that in today's world every body infringes on the other one way or another. We are no longer in control of what we see hear or partake in.with the rise of the internet and social media our personal or private space continues to decline by each passing second, how on earth can i challenge or stop what pops up in my Google search, how do i shut down my sight against the  often offensive twitter trends and how do i block such obscene content from unveiling right on my Facebook timeline. Our privacy space is fast eating up and our entire lives are monitored and viewed by governments, psychopaths, friend and foe alike,yet the staying away from this trend means been left behind.

  As we fail to seek and keep real and meaningful relationships in our daily lives we go in search for other means to create what i  refer to as artificial friendships through strange and computer enhanced avatars,photoshopping, or in extreme instances even stealing of photos of our favorite celebrities whom we idolize which try so hard to project a certain image and fake personas.We kill our lives in the real world to live in this make believe universe created by a rather awesome technology,this is at the expense of  family, loved ones, and as statistics have even shown personal health and growth. But even in the make believe world relationships sooner or later turn out to be not so safe a heaven as persons with no real life personalities or self worth keep to stalking, and even bullying which in some scenarios leads to mental break down or worst still untimely deaths. A New York Times report http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/20/education/20wired.html       shows that on the average teenagers and young adults spend an average of about six hours a day on online activity and since most are multi-tasking one would be really surprised the things we do with technology that turns to keep us isolated from the  world around us and helps drift our already shattering relationships further apart.

   We must come to realize that the internet, technology, gadgets and other all other products or services for that matter are marketed with the core aim of creating the "i need such a product/service psychology among its targeted consumers and such advertised benefits though real to some extent are to optimize sales and engaging in a particular lifestyle of  buy buy to fill the voids of our rather personal relationships wont work and so does attempting to live an artificial lifestyle online or else where. To curb this continuous isolation that threatens  unity and relationships at so many levels their must be a conscious effort to set our priorities straight and at the same time to build and nurture value the relationships which matter to us most  and at the same time balance our work lives with what ever and whoever we care to build a relationship with .

 Remain blessed and stay fly. - Gil-b   

dedication to family

As an African i think it should not be surprising to any any one familiar with the culture that family is a very important part of my life but to be it goes beyond just the the  typical  and that's while i dedicate my first official update to writing about this beautiful and wonderful group of persons i call family.I grew up in  quite a typical African family giving the size and  the fact that it was quite extended ,however this family of mine is not going to be your typical or conventional family so to say.Growing it up i was one of the smallest among many people i was later to refer to as family and while i have so much respect for them today is that i look back and cant help but think that i would not be the person that I am today if not for this beautiful people from whom i learnt about every facet of my innocent child hood memories.giving that at some points in time we numbered above twenty in a town house yet manged not be be dysfunctional i say big ups to our father Sir. Sebastian Ukor Ayem (ksj) who is not only a father but a friend  mentor and role model, but keeping this group of people some of whom were total strangers from different parts of the world won't have been a success only with His efforts so i say well done to Uncles and Aunties who did smack me (yes we are Africans) lol  without those i  think i would have drifted far away from this straight path long ago. Not to say i am perfect or the family for that matter but from them i was able to mirror society at a tender age and  and   yes just like every child hood they were some not so flattering moment but we lived through them and grew from it.
           I remember vividly my behavior towards my siblings (those that came before me) how i was  stubborn and disrespectful yet  what they had for me was not resentment but  but the desire to help  shape this little one "me" into what they thought was good for me. i rebelled like many a teenager  when i reached that  stage yet they never shoved me away , for to them that was just another phase of life, the then sibling rivalry   has today made me aware of what healthy competition is and the fact that i soon learnt that those siblings elder siblings of mine were indeed people whom  deserved my respect has to today had a positive impact on how i treat those i see i as elders in the society, the fact that i lived and grew up in such a big house with diverse and varying personalities  has helped shaped the way live in the much bigger and quicker to judge society today and today so far i seem to be handling my business just  fine as a young man.
            PS i earlier mentioned about the unconventional family because though we had so many fun childhood memories i really don't understand today while we unlike many families have no photo memories of them, because i don't remember a burning house but hey we moved a lot though both parents were not in the military lol. love u Guys. stay blessed and remain fly Gil-b

it took me a minute to start blogging

those who know me well will testify to the fact that i have always been the one with something to say,I have always seek a venue where i could poor out my thoughts and views on various issues concerning or happening around me, and by me i mean the world.

The thought of always having this venue has been with me for a year or two now but i have always waited and said to myself i needed money to construct a good, standard website before i set out and  do one of the things i like most; writing.Creating the caliber of website which i wanted would have indeed cost me a fortune and keeping it running even more and as a student who lives on a budget though i knew that was nearly impossible i don't know while I let that hinder me from starting a blog like this one,may be because i thought people will never take me serious or perhaps I myself wont take me serious but then i realized the people for whom t his blog is targeted at is not those who would be too fast to judge a book by its cover but by those who will be patient enough to turn a page or two. 

          It is for this reason that i decided just a minute ago after having a discussion with my lecturer earlier today that I decided i was going to start my blog and not wait for a site to be constructed when i would get my little words or thoughts of wisdom out they for discussion already.The decision to finally start blogging for me was made  just after i saw a friend off who came to lend a book from me and i made it back to my hostel. This blog for me is a learning ground and a journey for me which i hope to  will still go on even long after am gone and i will welcome both criticize-em and encouragement from all those who care enough to follow this journey and fun ride which we now embark on. I will most importantly welcome feedback from you guys and i encourage you that just like me it should  take you not more than a minute to follow me and my line of thoughts as you walk this work with me. stay blessed and remain fly- Gil -B